Shaking
by PugNTurtle
Summary: How do you deal when the one that you love is hurt? Lou Vartann/Catherine Willows MAJOR SPOILERS FOR UNAIRED EPISODE. One Shot


Title: Shaking

Author: Katie

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Targets of Obsession, Wild Life, Season 11

Summary: How do you deal when the one that you love is hurt?

Disclaimer: CSI, the characters, and anything related to the show do not belong to me. They belong to a ton of rich people who make more money in one week then I probably will ever make in my life. Trust me, if I did own them, I'd have been rocking out with The Who at the Superbowl last year, screaming "Who Are You?" and namedropping Marg Helgenberger every three seconds.

Author's Note: **This is the last warning: this story is based on an episode that has not aired yet. It is based on photographs released by CBS. Do not continue reading if you do not want to be potentially spoiled. **This is my first venture into Lou/Catherine. It's been a long time since I've finished something (not much time in my day to write!) but with the onset of snow/ice/glaciers/frost/whatever in the East, guess I need to do something constructive. Well, enjoy, and please let me know what you think! Thank you also to the absolute best C/V writer out there, Heather (csihuntermom) for the beta. Check out her work, folks. She's fabulous.

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How was it possible for her hands to still be shaking?

The nightmare had ended over five hours ago, but Catherine Willows' hands were still moving on their own. She stared at her hands, the stark white bandage standing out against her pale hands. She wondered just how long they had been shaking.

They were shaking while she and Louis Vartann supported each other out of the rigged warehouse. They were shaking when the final bomb went off, sending her and Vartann flying forward. They were shaking when Vartann had fell on top of her, her face and hand colliding with the concrete, the pain an afterthought as he selflessly protected her from the debris. They were shaking as he lay, unmoving, on top of her, as Nick and Kip ran to them.

And they had continued shaking as Nick and Kip pulled Lou off of her, several long seconds passing as she stared at her colleagues, trying to determine if the detective was still alive.

Her ears were ringing; she barely heard Nick yell that Vartann had a pulse. He was alive, but unconscious. But, all she could hear, all her mind went to was she and Lou fighting, arguing, giving ultimatums.

Life was too short.

Those were the thoughts running through Catherine's head as she stared in the mirror of a bathroom in Spring Valley Hospital. Her hand was bandaged, thanks to a deep cut that required stitches. She wasn't even sure how or when that occurred. There was a huge scrape next to her eye, but luckily no concussion. She knew from experience that the area would bruise.

She was a lot luckier than Louis Anthony Vartann.

A sob caught in Catherine's throat as she closed her eyes, willing the nausea away. He hadn't regained consciousness in the ambulance, nor in the hospital just yet. Catherine remembered how she could feel her body tremble as she watched him being whisked away from her. She had thought her legs would give out at the sight of him. Luckily Nick had been close by, quietly leading her to a doctor in order to get checked out.

Catherine gripped the sink, wishing the shaking would stop. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She instantly regretted it when the nausea she had internally begged to leave chose that moment to churn. She turned and ran to the toilet. Her knees and chest protested as she threw up, her heart rate rapidly rising. She panted, resisting the urge to lay her head against the toilet. Lord only knew what kind of germs that had…

She forced her weak legs to move, and she stumbled back to the sink. She cupped her uninjured hand under the water, ducking her head to take a drink. Catherine took another deep breath, relieved when her stomach didn't churn again.

Catherine closed her eyes briefly, willing herself to move. She exited the bathroom, and was caught by surprise as she nearly walked into Nick.

"Hey, Cath, you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Fine," Catherine shrugged to accentuate her self diagnosis. "Any word?"

"The doctor came out while you were in the bathroom-" Nick began, only to be cut off by Catherine.

"And why didn't you come get me?" Her tone was accusing, and raised a hitch.

"-and I told him that you would just be a couple more minutes, and that he should come back," Nick finished calmly.

Catherine felt a sob rise up in her throat, tears welling in her eyes. She opened her mouth to apologize, but closed it quickly, knowing that if she opened her mouth again the tears would begin to flow.

Nick placed a strong hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. Catherine knew that he forgave her, that he understood her anguish. She didn't protest as Nick pulled her into a tight hug. Instead, she rested her cheek against his muscled chest, drawing strength from her friend as she closed her eyes.

The sound of footsteps forced them apart, though Nick kept an arm around Catherine's shoulders. The two looked at the doctor that had stopped in front of them expectantly.

"Detective Vartann is going to be fine," the doctor began. Catherine breathed a deep sigh of relief, closing her eyes for a brief moment before reopening them, waiting for the doctor to continue.

"He has some cuts to his back, a broken rib, and a pretty severe concussion," the doctor told them. "He regained consciousness about an hour ago, and has been pretty argumentative. I want to admit him for a couple days to monitor the head injury and rib, but he's protesting. He wants to sign himself out."

"I'll talk to him," Catherine finally found her voice, a small smile forming on her lips.

The doctor's eyes flicked down to the bandage around her hand, then to the scrape on her face. "You wouldn't happen to be Catherine, would you?" he asked.

She was startled at the question, and her chest tightened painfully. For a long moment, she feared that Lou had demanded that she be banned from seeing him. "I – I'm Catherine Willows. Why? What's wrong? Is-" she stammered as she felt Nick squeeze her shoulders.

She almost missed the doctor's reply. She was too busy thinking about how she and Lou had argued the last time they saw each other.

They argued two months before about moving in together, and about her keeping secrets from him. They had also argued today, about which way to go in the warehouse once they realized they had been duped. It seemed like all they did was argue, and Catherine would completely understand if he never wanted to see her again.

"Well, since he's been awake, when he's not arguing about having to stay in the hospital, he's been asking about you," the doctor said with a small smile. "Are you his wife?"

"I…no. We're…complicated," Catherine hesitated. _She _wasn't even sure what they were. "Can I see him?"

"Yes, follow me," the doctor said.

Catherine nodded, turning to Nick. "Nicky, I…" she began.

"Go, go," Nick said with a smile. "Go be with him. I'm gonna call and see if there is any word about Jason McCann."

"Keep me updated, Nicky?" Catherine requested, trying to ignore the anger that flared at the name. The kid that seemed so harmless was deadly; he had nearly killed Lou...hell, he had nearly killed her, not to mention Nick and Kip.

"I always do," Nick answered with a wink. "And Cath?"

"Yes?"

"Do yourself a favor. Don't fight your feelings anymore. If you want to be with him, then don't let your fears get in the way," Nick said honestly. "He's a great guy, and you deserve happiness. Don't let him slip away. You'll regret it."

Catherine stared at him for a long moment, then nodded. She turned to follow the doctor, eager to see Lou.

She followed the doctor down a long hall before they stopped in front of the door. "Detective Vartann, you have a visitor," the doctor told him, allowing Catherine to enter the room.

Her blue eyes took in the man before her. He had cuts on his face and his arms were covered in soot. Underneath the blankets and gown, she knew that there were a lot more cuts and bruises. But he had never looked more gorgeous to her.

Their eyes locked, and Catherine felt a sob rise in her throat for what seemed like the hundredth time since this ordeal began. She swallowed thickly, then said the first thing that came to her mind.

"I'm sorry."

Lou smiled slightly at her words. "I know," he said sadly. "I am too."

For a long moment, the two stared at each other. Neither knew what to say. In a way, they were both terrified of what would happen if they did speak. It seemed like whenever they did talk lately, they ended up fighting.

"You want to have a seat?" Lou asked gesturing to the chair. "I don't bite. Well…sometimes."

Catherine finally laughed, the sound somewhat foreign to her. It had been a long time since she laughed. Instead of sitting in the chair, she perched on the side of the bed. She glanced at Lou, making sure that he was comfortable with her sitting next to him. He smiled gently at her. She picked up his hand in her left one, her thumb running across the IV that had been stuck in his hand.

She stared at him, sighing softly. "I'm glad that you're okay," Catherine finally said.

"I could say the same thing to you." Lou squeezed her hand. He swallowed thickly, then said, "I was going to call you last night, but then everything happened with Nick. In a way, it was surprising to see you at that warehouse today. I feel like Brass has been trying to keep us apart."

"I know the feeling. The last case we worked together was…" she trailed off, not wanting to bring up the memories of them arguing, and then cutting off their relationship. Catherine sighed softly. "Why were you going to call me?"

Lou wasn't expecting her to ask this. He looked away, his cheeks red. "It's…nothing." He mumbled the response, but Catherine heard him anyway.

"It had to have been something," Catherine prodded gently.

"I, ah…hell, Catherine, this isn't easy," he rubbed a hand over his face. "I've just been thinking."

"About what?" She ran soothing circles over his hand with her thumb, gently prompting him.

"Everything," he said softly. "My first marriage, my son, you…" He shrugged, glancing up at her. "I just…life's too short, Catherine. I got jealous – hurt, even – over the fact that you didn't tell me that you own part of a casino, and that you didn't tell me certain things. And I realized that you don't need to tell me everything. I was being an idiot-"

"I should have told you that I have a part of a casino," Catherine interrupted him. "I just…it never occurred to me that it was something that I should tell you. And I'm sorry for that."

Lou sighed. "Maybe we should stop blaming ourselves," he said. "Start fresh."

"Reintroduce ourselves?" Catherine chuckled. Lou smiled as well, squeezing her hand. She quickly sombered, running a hand through her hair. "Does that hurt?" Lou asked, gesturing to the bandage on her hand.

"Kind of," Catherine admitted. "The shot the doctor gave me to numb the area is wearing off." She stared at Lou, then blurted out, "I want to move in with you." Lou blinked in surprise, his mouth opening at her admission. "I mean…if the offer still stands," Catherine added nervously.

"I…yeah, it does," Lou stammered. "But…why? I thought you wanted to take it slow."

"I do – well, I did," Catherine answered. "But you said it yourself. Life's too short, and I want to be with the one that I love. I care too much for you to lose you."

At her statement, hope glimmered in Lou's eyes. "When do you want to move in?"

"Well, I'm going to have some sick time thanks to this, and I have plenty of vacation time on the books, so as soon as possible," Catherine admitted. "I'm ready to move on with my life."

Lou smiled, a true smile gracing his features. "If it didn't hurt to move, I'd kiss you," Lou told her.

Catherine grinned back, leaning forward and pressing her lips gently to his, her hand tracing his strong cheekbone. They finally broke apart, and Catherine pressed her forehead against his. "I love you," she breathed.

"I love you too, Catherine," Lou answered automatically. And he knew that he did. There was no one else that he wanted in his life.

They pulled apart, Catherine settling on the edge of the bed. "By the way, Louis?" she said sweetly.

"Yes, Catherine?"

"You're staying in this hospital until you're discharged. Don't get any ideas about sneaking out."`

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Finished! R & R, please!


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